“Will you be my friend?” This was how I made my very first friend in kindergarten. “Yup.” Easy as that. If only that were the case now that we’re grownups. I’ve been thinking about making friends a lot lately (it plays a major role in the happiness book), man, and it is frickin’ hard. Despite the fact that I live in the town where I grew up, so I have endless acquaintances, it has recently occurred to me that most of my closest friends, the ones that I call when I’m upset, don’t live in the same city. I guess that’s what I get for going to college out of state. Anyways, I’ve been interested in expanding my friend circle and making new girlfriends lately. But how does one go about that?
I feel like when you’re in college, everyone is in a similar situation, so everyone is more open to making new friends. You’ve got that common link, and people are just more available. Now that I’m out of school, I find that people have settled into their cliques and friend circles and tend to put up walls that are shockingly hard to penetrate. I can’t even imagine moving to a city where you know not a soul and having to build new relationships. My friend here (I do have some!) is not native to this city, so she’s similarly on the prowl for girlfriends. She says you need to find the one girl in the group that looks the least comfortable, like she knows everyone else the least, and maker her talk to you, hah. Kind of like praying upon the straggling duckling. Hey, if boys do that to try to date girls, why can’t girls do that to find girlfriends?
I just read this New York Times article about online sites where women can find friends. Totally intriguing to me. I guess it follows though; people go online to find dates, why not to find friends? I have found SocialJane.com, Girlfriendsocial.com, and girlfriendcircles.com. I had no idea there was such a market for this. I tried to check out the sites, but I can’t really get a good feel for what they’re really like. I’d be curious to meet someone that has joined one of these sites. At the moment though, I can’t bring myself to pay to find girlfriends online; if I wanted to pay for friends, I would have joined a sorority (KIDDING, no offense to all my Greek sistas out there!).
The article also led me to this interesting blog (cause we all know how much I love blogs!), which I’ve read about but never actually read. It’s really cute – married white female seeks BFF. She says she’s on the hunt for “Ms. Right”. Like me, this woman’s friends live in various cities scattered across the country. Unlike me, she’s married and has moved to a new city for her husband. Her blog chronicles her search for a best girlfriend in a big city. It seems she has tried everything, including, I was surprised to read, speed friending. Like speed dating. But for friends. Hilarious. The blog has been turned into a book (that’s the theme these days, I want a book!), so I’m really thinking about reading it, I think it sounds fascinating. Maybe I’ll get some good tips from the book, though for now, I think I will stick with more traditional forms of friend-making. For now.