Can I borrower $80 million??

NYC Art Sale To Feature Munch’s ‘The Scream’.

Sotheby’s is selling the only version of Edvard Munch’s The Scream that is privately held (there are four).  They are estimating that it will go for $80 million. It is just bananas to me how much people are willing to pay for an icon.  I love art probably more than the next person, but if I had 80 mil, I think I’d be focusing on purchasing my island (yup, MY island) … and maybe a helicopter first.  I pity the person that must shell out that much for THAT… wait, NO I don’t!!  Though, I must say, what kind of life do you live if this baby is having over your bed?

Since I don’t quiiiite have $80 mil (cash flow issue only, you understand) to acquire precious art, I have a plan B.  Versions of the Scream have been stolen several times from museums in Norway, so, to the future owner of this one, beware!  (Click here for the top 10 most notorious art thefts in history – a lot of them are really fun)  I’m not sure if you’re aware, but when I retire from my legal career, I plan to become an art thief.  I realize that at least in the case of The Scream, they were not successful, but that will not deter me.  For inspiration, watch my favorite Audrey Hepburn movie (and that says a lot!) – How to Steal a Million.  I think all I need is some Givenchy attire and a cute blue-eyed sidekick.  Audrey wouldn’t lead me astray.

Also check out this book, the Rescue Artist, about tracking down the thieves that stole The Scream.  Much more fun than buying it.  Tad more risky.  Whatev.

On occasion, Facebook can be cool…

25 Funny and Creative Facebook Timeline Covers.

I’m not a huge fan of the Timeline function on the Book.  Actually, I hate it.  I find it very difficult to stalk people, and I feel like it jumps around awkwardly on the screen.  BUT, I came across this fun website, and some people have done some pretty cool things with their Timeline covers.  Check them out.  Some people have too much free time (or maybe I’m just jealous that I’m not as tech savvy with graphics… or… maybe with Timeline in general.)

Here are some of my favorites.  Check out the link above for all of them.

Phoooone (facebook) hoooome.

And on the seventh day, God created Mark Zuckerburg.

Poke.  Haha.  Clever if this actually works/is allowed.

Mmmm candy.  I’m always hungry and foolish.  Yet, shockingly lacking in the talent of Steve Jobs.

That’s dedication to the profile pic if I’ve ever seen it.

Gaultier Exotique

Dallas Museum of Art – Gaultier.

I finally made it to the Jean Paul Gaultier exhibit at the Dallas Museum of Art (Jean Paul Gaultier:  From the Sidewalk to the Catwalk).  Last two days – hurry and get there!  Apparently it’s the most-attended exhibition the museum has had of late – the last two days of the exhibition are sure to be a total zoo.  Makes sense – despite what most of you foreigners (non-Texans) think, Dallas-ites ARE in fact extremely interested in fashion.  I mean, we birthed Neiman Marcus and Stanley Korshak, duh.

I thought the exhibit was fantastic.  I was expecting some amazing hand-sewn couture gowns, which were delivered, but there was so much more.  A lot of more S&M-inspired pieces, a “Boudior” collection, 80′s punk, and science fiction costumes worn in the Fifth Element.  If you didn’t already feel like you were living in the renowned enfant terrible’s creepy yet brilliant fantasy world, the mannequins had blank faces with actual facial features projected onto the blank canvas though film from ceiling projectors, with an incredible life-like reality (see pictures below).  I have never seen anything like it, and mannequins would spontaneously begin speaking (of course with a French accent).  Freaky, yet awesome.  Many of the displays noted how many hours were put into each of the pieces – sometimes, hundreds.  The attention to detail and the actual craft are just incredible.  I was just blown away by the creativity and the artistic vision that he has – by far one of the most unique and inspired designers I have ever seen.

Lessons on/from Housewivery

I have made no secret of the fact that I watch a lot of bad reality tv.  This means the Real Housewives of _______________.  Fill in any city in the country … except Atlanta, sorry ladies, I just can’t do it.  I always feel bad about watching so much crap on tv, but I have decided I should cast the Catholic guilt aside.   These housewives are educational!  A lot of life lessons are coming.  Mind, prepare to be blown.

Image from Perez Hilton, duh.

The most important nuggets of gold I’ve received from the Housewives:

1.  Hair extensions make people love you.  It gives the other bitches something to rip out when you’re in a cat fight.  They will appreciate that and you’ll probably become friends later.  Till they stab you in the back.  Again.  Really, this time you should have seen it coming.

2.  If you’re THAT worried about staying “young” (i.e. starving yourself, only intaking vodka, and pumping your face full of every injectible on the market, regular or black) because if you don’t, your rich ugly husband will cheat on you, it’s too late, he probably already is. With someone else on your reality show.  But the season hasn’t aired yet, so you don’t yet know.  He’s currently hiding his assets in offshore accounts in the Cayman Islands.

3.  The people that act like they have the most money have the least.  In fact, they’re probably bankrupt.  This is Real Talk.  Bentley = bankrupt.  This is why I drive a 10-year-old Nissan Pathfinder.  To show people how rich I am.

4.  If you think you’re going to host a big beautiful party, and you don’t think there will be crying, screaming, a hoo-ha showing, or some ripped out hair extensions… you’ve got another thing comin’.

5.  Please don’t marry for money, honey.  He’s going to leave you for someone younger, again, probably your cast mate.  Then you’ll just be stuck with all those whiny brats that you forced out in a desperate attempt to tie him down.  And when you get divorced, you won’t be able to afford your requisite four nannies (see above re: Cayman Islands) on the income from your new jewelry/shoe/clothes/hair extension line that you think will be successful because you’re on tv.  Then, you become a commoner.  Unless you can revive your career on Dancing/Cooking/Cleaning with the Stars.

6.  Lip injections/implants do not look natural.  Ever.

7.  If you think that announcing some disease/drug and alcohol addiction/spousal abuse on tv will make people sympathize with you and love you more, it won’t.  People will think you’re lying.  Or trying to be famous.  Then whiny.  No one will want to invite you to their party and they certainly won’t want to buy your line of hair extensions.  This is counter-intuitive.  But, again, Real Talk.

8.  When Andy Cohen has you on his show, he’s mocking you.  You just don’t know it.  You probably never will.

9.  AND 10.  Most importantly, I’ve learned that in comparison, I’m the classiest b*word out there.

My Betty Crocker Bowl

In honor of the Super Bowl, which, by the way I did NOT care a lick about, I baked all weekend.  Ok, well it was actually for my sweet boyfriend’s birthday, which happened to also coincide with the blessed event.  But, either way, there were parties and baked goods had to be had.  To be honest, I expected that one of his friends that are girls would bring birthday-desserty options to the party, so to me, it became a competition.  Guess what!!  I WON!!!!  Ok, I may have won by default, because as it turns out, no one else brought desserts (those of you that brought queso though, bless you) but… I WON!  I am the best dessert baker EVER!  (For those of you that don’t know me, I’m not a big baker, so any small success is monumental for me.  I needed the confidence boost.)

First off, I could not decide what to make.  I knew I wanted to try something new, and I knew I wanted to make something totally decadent and to die for.  Check and check.  My first choice had to have peanut butter, because I have learned it is the way to my boyfriend’s heart (as long as I don’t touch his personal jar… he’s weird if you mess with his pb.)  I decided to make two different options (mostly because I was worried I’d mess one up and needed a backup).  Both were great, from two blogs that I really enjoy (thank you Pinterest for showing me great blogs!).  Totally depends on your taste, but I recommend both!

Reeses Cheesecake Brownies:

Source: pipandebby.com via lindsey on Pinterest

(photo from Pip and Ebby)

These were amazing.  Super over the top and decadant.  Must love peanut butter or these are a no-go.  See here for the recipe.  Hurry!

Next up, S’mores Bars:

S’more Cookie Bars | Crepes of Wrath.

(photo from Crepes of Wrath)

Compared to the Peanut Butter Brownies, these were SO MUCH less sweet.  But seriously, there is PLENTY o’ sugar to go around.  Much more simple, but if you dream of marshmellows around a campfire, these babies are for you.  Amazing.  I wish I’d taken the chance to eat them right out of the oven, heavenly!

If you don’t like chocolate or marshmellow or peanut butter… well, I just can’t help you.  You DO need help though.

Papercut Art (and my first Etsy experience)

Papercut Art & Jewelry by Tina Tarnoff by tinatarnoff on Etsy.

So I was telling my friend that I was looking for artwork to hang on my wall in my office, and she mentioned that she’d just purchased a great print from Etsy.  Now I’ve heard of Etsy, but usually my first thought is that it’s a lot of home-made yarn mittens, not to be rude – kitsch, and generally things that I don’t need.  But, I browsed through the art section and found some really great stuff!  (I know to everyone else that regularly shops the site, this is no revelation, but as you may know, I’m usually the last one to the party.)  I came across this boutique by Tina Tarnoff of papercut art and they are just so cute!  Not office material, but they are sweet and feminine and would go great in the future fabulous closet/dressing room that I swear I will have one day, dammit!  (You know, one of those with some ridiculous lounge chair, a chandelier, fabulous closets, and let’s be real, a wine fridge.  Something that I imagine Beyonce has.)  Definitely check out her Etsy shop!

Neiman’s Art of Fashion Campaign

The Art of Fashion Stars Susan Sarandon & Eva Amurri Martino | NMdaily.

After a good amount of hype on their blog (maybe I was the only one following it), Neiman Marcus has announced that Susan Sarandon and her daughter Eva Amurri are the cover girls for their new ad campaign.  Great choice.  It has the celebrity element, but they are both super classy, timeless, and gorgeous. The photos are phenomenal.

Eva has come a long way since Saved!  She looks more and more like her mother as she gets older.  Not bad genes to have.

I need to brighten my life.

January has been rainy and dreary here in Dallas.  Who says you have to dress the same??  I say that wearing something bright and punchy will lure in the spring!

Here is my wish list:

 

Spring Beckons by urbanebeast featuring flats

Michael Kors neon dress
$1,245 - stylebop.com

Splendid neon shirt
$95 - stylebop.com

Tory Burch flat
$178 - bergdorfgoodman.com

Marc Jacobs leather handbag
£509 - farfetch.com

Tory Burch wrap bracelet
$95 - nordstrom.com

Top Chef Texas: Padma, you’re killin’ me.

Dear Padma,

I do not love you, but I love Tom Colicchio and Gail and the rest of your show.  Top Chef is to be loved and revered, and I watch it religiously.  I was sooo happy you came to my homeland, as we clearly got some good cookin’ going on.  Chili, ribs, Tex-Mex, holla!  But, is this what you think Texans wear??  I have been all around this great state, and there are some ridiculous sites to be seen, yes, but I have NEVER seen a denim jumpsuit.  You hurt my heart and eyes and now, my reputation among all my friends that hail from other states.

Are we wearing a picnic table cloth?  Is that your boyfriend/lumberjack’s shirt??

Cute (ish), but no.  NO.  Denim and pleats?  NOOO.

Are we ready for our Quinceanera??

THE WORST.  There are no words.

Dear loyal readers, we have MUCH better style than this in Texas.  I promise.  Don’t judge me.  Also, a friendly reminder, while we might tote hefty firearms, we do not ride horses everywhere.  I said not everywhere…

Midnight in Paris

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS | Written and Directed by Woody Allen.

So, in my usual yearly attempt to catch up on the Oscar nominations and understand what is relevant in culture (film culture, that is), I always try to watch as many Best Pictures as possible.  Usually, that’s about 1.5 per year.  Buuut, I’m shooting for the stars this year.  First stop:  Midnight in Paris.  I love Woody Allen, so this is the natural start for me.  I wanted to see it in the theaters, but no one would go with me!  Sorry there aren’t stunts like Mission Impossible, people.  I love Woody’s style, love his stories, love the soundtrack, LOVE PARIS.

Nostalgia is denial – denial of the painful present.

First off, I have to love it because if I could pick an era of history in which to live, I would most definitely also go with Paris in the 1920′s.  I took an English class on Americans in Paris in the 20′s in college, and you just yearn to be around such style, sass, and flare.  People were so classy (well, depending on who you ask, I guess, but at least compared to today, where we revere artists that wear meat outfits and tattoo Thug Life Across their knuckles (though, don’t worry, I’m still pretty modern – I do request Umbrella be played at pretty much every bar with a dj where I’ve had more than two drinks)) and artistic.  Maybe I’m just running with the wrong circle.  Lawyers, they aren’t always so hoppin’.   I don’t care for Hemingway, but I would absolutely hang out with Scott and Zelda.  And Dali!  And Gertrude Stein!  Especially Zelda – she is portrayed as such a firecracker.  She’s fabulous.  And nuts.  But fabulous.  I am definitely inspired to read a biography.  Adrian Brody as Dali was hilarious, and Kathy Bates as Gertrude Stein was an amazing choice.

Anyways, I digress.  I thought the movie was cute, romantic, quirky.  So Woody.  Despite the time travel, which really isn’t my deal, I loved it.  See it!!  Fantastic cast.  Carla Bruni, I love you.

That’s what the present is, unsatisfying.  Because that’s what life is, a little unsatisfying. 

Booking.  Trip.  To.  Paris.